The sewer people stole my skateboard!

on the G Train!

Last night’s 30 Rock was the most quotable episode of the show since the classic “Secrets and Lies” back in Season 2. It would be so even without Tracy Jordan’s litany of horrific, repressed childhood memories brought to light after his entourage tried to convince him to do Oscar bait film Hard To Watch, Based on the Book ‘Stone Cold Bummer,’ by Manipulate. But it was those dredged-up memories that provided the biggest laughs. Here they all are, in list form:

  • Saw a pidgeon fight a baby
  • I slept on an old dog bed stuffed with wigs!
  • I saw a prostitute stab a clown!
  • Our basketball hoop was a ribcage! A ribcage!
  • Some guy with dreads electrocuted my fish!
  • A crackhead breastfeeding a rat!
  • A homeless man cooking a hot pocket on the third rail of the G Train. The G Train, Nermal!
  • I’ve seen a blind guy bite a police horse!
  • A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom!
  • I once bit into a burrito and there was a child’s show in it!
  • I’ve seen a hooker eat a tire!
  • A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendys
  • The sewer people stole my skateboard!
  • The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Tayor – generally considered to be one of the worst Presidents of all time!
  • I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo…they were very drunk.

You can watch the whole episode over at Hulu. Again and again.


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