Everyone Looks Good in a Sheinhardt

I’m 100% behind the WGA strike, even though Fall 2007 has been disappointing as far as most shows go. But there two shows I’m really gonna miss when we soon run out of new scripted television — Pushing Daisies and 30 Rock. The latter faltered a bit out of the gate but has really brought the funny these last four episodes, and last night’s "Secrets and Lies" was one of the funniest the show has done yet, with maybe the most quotable lines ever. Don’t read below if you didn’t see it already (go ahead, watch it online), but here were my many favorites:

  • "The whistle part fell off but I liked how it looked, so I kept it."
  • "I got a squeezer from an Indian girl on a bunk-bed, so I think I got the whole Harvard experience."
  • "That word bums me out unless it’s between the words ‘meat’ and ‘pizza.’"
  • "This corporation has a very strict ‘Bros Before Hos Policy.’"
  • "Try not to dress like a small-town lesbian."
  • "I spent two days making this movie from home and what did I get? A million dollars, a yellow Bentley and nothing!"
  • "Thanks a lot, Puritans!"
  • "Your lame thing is on his pants!"
  • "Perfect. That’s just when I get back from Maiden Voyage — Newark’s first offshore Gentlemen’s barge."
  • "Banter!"
  • "What’s your favorite pizza topping? Mine’s plain, but I like others!"
  • "Shark attack!"
  • "I drag myself out of bed at four in the morning, go home, get dressed, come in here… and he doesn’t even mention my name?"
  • "The squirrel! It’s not afraid of people!"
  • "Captain Beefheart."
  • "Oh god, it was my birthday yesterday!"
  • "That’s NBA sexual assault money."
  • "Everyone looks good in a Sheinhardt."
  • "But the Toofer/Frank rivalry has finally exploded!"
  • "…and your name is probably something like Melissa."
  • "Oh Melissa, your face is on the phone. Soccer practice is over, and you need to pick it up!"
  • "…Cajun-style!"
  • "Wake me up if Andy Dick calls."
  • "Ooh… cuh-runch!"
  • "Here’s your John Legend CD."
  • "I’m 43 and you have great hair. I can let this play out a little longer."
  • "These people are my peers, my heroes, my past and future Secret Santas…"
  • "I’m Black."

Even the shill-a-rific American Express Holiday Funtime things are pretty good:

  • "Bento box from Sushi King, lesbian scene from Mullholland Drive — time for Gentlemen’s Lunch."

One episode left, people. Personally, I’m hoping for a Christmas Miracle.


  1. I usually don't get to watch any Thursday TV due to the night gig, but I did happen to catch this 30 Rock, and that confession scene was one of the funniest things I've seen all year. Maybe I'll be able to catch up with the repeats the next 6 Thursdays I have off.
    I tried Pushing Daisies, I really did. But by the third ep the tweeness was just too much.

  2. Sometimes the lines fly out so fast and furious that I miss 'em. Thanks for the list and please explain "Captain Beefheart."

  3. "Captain Beefheart" was during the cutaway scene where Liz, Kenneth, Jack and CC were playing Celebrity.
    CC (giving clues): "Remember that time you fell asleep…"
    Jack: "Captain Beefheart!"
    I share a birthday with Beefheart.

  4. I caught the last 40 minutes or so of 30 Rock the other night. I especially liked the faux award given to Tracy (a basketball trophy with wings attached).

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